THE EXPERIENTIAL EASTER

A personal miracle of Grace

“And when I think that God, His Son not sparing, sent Him to die, I scarce can take it in. That on the cross, my burden gladly bearing, He bled and died to take away my sin” ¹

These lyrics indelibly mark a moment in my life when I was permanently changed, essentially altered by an outside power far greater than anything I could have ever possibly imagined or created on my own. That power was and is Love…true, perfect, gracious, merciful Love, a Love that comes only from the one being in existence who IS Love.

I was walking a very dark path, living for myself, and driving nearly everyone in my life away through my selfish, uncontrolled debauchery.  Constantly intoxicated and possessed by wandering eyes and insatiable lust, I had trashed my marriage and permanently destroyed any chance of a meaningful relationship with my firstborn daughter. Yet despite this, I pridefully continued in my ways, using people to fulfill my desires and perceived needs without any thought for what damage I was doing to them and their lives.

Then, one Spring evening around Eastertime 1987, I was driving alone to my home in Ontario, CA, from a hospital in Corona, where I’d visited a girl who had just had one of her fallopian tubes removed, along with the ectopic baby I’d planted within her in one of my many moments of drunken selfishness.

The drive was long, and the night was dark, with just enough moonlight to illuminate the ground fog rising from the fields and farmlands around me, just high enough to wisp over the hood of my car and across the windshield. A surreal environment wherein I became lost in self-examination and reflection on the numerous ways I had hurt so many others.

Within this reflection I was confronted by the reality that this young woman had been hospitalized, that she had just undergone life-altering surgery, and that a precious baby’s life was lost solely because of my selfish choices.  I was completely overwhelmed by the realization of how low I’d sunk, and by a profound sense of guilt and regret. I was utterly bankrupt; morally, spiritually, bankrupt.

Arriving home in a dazed swirl of thoughts and emotions, I walked into my bedroom and looked up for the first time in years at a picture of Jesus that had followed me everywhere I’d lived since I was a kid. Having been raised going to church, hanging that picture up wherever I lived just seemed like the right thing to do, but in reality, it was little more than a decoration…until that moment.

As soon as I looked at that picture, my knees buckled and I collapsed onto the floor, sobbing uncontrollably, inconsolably.  It was then that I heard it, an inaudible voice, not in my ears, but in my soul; the strong, clear, gentle, Fatherly voice of my Creator asking this very simple yet profoundly direct and powerful question, “Have you had enough?”  Along with these words which I can never forget, came a vision, not seen with my eyes, but again in my soul; a vision of The Father’s strong hand reaching down not to punish me, but to lift me to my feet.

I was completely overcome by the fact that, after everything I had done to Him, after consciously deciding to ignore His warnings, choosing to pursue my pride-filled, lust-fueled desires knowing it was wrong, that after hurting Him, His Son, and everyone He had given into my life, He would still be willing to forgive me and welcome me back into His arms was more than I could handle and I knew in that instant, that I’d been changed!

Like the old Jesus picture on the wall, I had kept on my nightstand for years an old Lutheran hymnal that had belonged to my paternal grandmother and, for reasons I can still only imagine, I reached out, picked up that book and noticed for the first time a single, loose page sticking out; why had I never seen this before?  I pulled out the page and found it was the hymn, ‘How Great Thou Art’; a very familiar song that I’d heard my mom sing around the house countless times when I was growing up but which, until then, had meant little to me.

Compelled by something I can neither explain nor comprehend, I started singing, alone in my apartment I worshiped and prayed for the first time in many years. And when I sang these words it all became real; “And when I think that God, His Son not sparing, sent Him to die, I scarce can take it in. That on the cross, MY burden gladly bearing, He bled and died to take away MY sin”.  At this I cried again, but no longer from grief and regret, but rather from indescribable relief! Then as if it couldn’t get any better, the next verse finished me off, “When Christ shall come, with shout of acclamation and take me home, what joy shall fill my heart! Then I shall bow, in humble adoration, and there proclaim, my God, how great Thou art!”  Even as I write this today, nearly four decades later, I can’t read those words without having to fight back tears!

About three months after that moment when God saved me from self-destruction, He introduced me to the most amazing and beautiful woman!  Michele had also been recently saved by God and was struggling as a single mom to raise her daughter in the Faith and away from the abusive home and marriage they had escaped about a year earlier, a marriage polluted by drugs, abuse, and chronic infidelity.

Michele’s precious heart and natural beauty inside and outside so affected me, that I felt compelled to confess my past to her after only a couple dates. I knew she was a remarkably special woman, and I knew that she deserved to know who I was before we got any closer; I didn’t want to hurt her too.  Yet, although my sins were so much like those she had fled, she lovingly embraced me and our relationship which grew very quickly into a love unlike anything either of us ever thought possible!

Roughly ten months later, nearly a year after my life changing experience with God, we married and now some 35+ years, 6 kids and 6 grandkids later, I’m still blown away by God’s Grace!  Seriously, I had selfishly thrown away a marriage and a daughter, but He gave me a second chance! Not as a replacement of course (people are never replaceable), but rather as evidence of His forgiveness, a forgiveness so pure and unconditional that He would trust me to care for a broken mother and her daughter wounded by the sins of another man, which were far too similar to my own!

This is the experiential Easter! A perfect gift of perfect Grace and Forgiveness. A forgiveness so perfect and powerful that our deepest darkest sins cannot stand against it, all worked out through the sacrifice and resurrection of the perfect Son, by the Will and Love of the perfect Father.

Most of us believe that people cannot change, and while that is essentially true, the greater truth is that God can and does change people, I am living proof of that!  So, my hope and prayer in sharing this is that all who hear His name will also hear His voice like I did, and experience the incomparable, perfect, life-changing Grace of Easter!

PDS - Easter 2023

Edmond, Oklahoma

 ¹ From “How Great Thou Art", a Christian hymn based on an original Swedish hymn entitled "O Store Gud" written in 1885 by Carl Boberg (1859–1940)

Getting It Right

"What's wrong with me Coach?  I don't get it; I've been doing so good for so long and now nothing's working!"  The rising young star was desperate, sensing his dream for a Division-1 scholarship slipping through his fingers.  "I work hard!  I never miss practice! I'm trying Coach, I'm really trying!  Why is everything going so wrong?!"

If you've ever played or coached any sport seriously, you've heard these words, or even more likely, you have said them yourself.  However, even if you've never played sports, these words strike a familiar chord in the heart of each one of us, because the feelings being expressed and the underlying cause and effect are common to the lives of every person.

So, what's the coach going to say?  What would you say?  "Suck it up kid; it's all part of learning. Just keep working hard doing what you're doing; it'll all work out eventually.  Remember, winners never quit and quitters never win. Now get your butt back out there and tough it out."

It hurts me to write that because, as a father of 6, I have too many times responded to my own kids' cries for help in much the same way.  I mean, it sounds like good 'coach-talk' and all, but the truth is, when a coach (or parent, sibling, boss, friend, pastor, etc.) says something like this, or even when we say it to ourselves, it clearly reveals one of two facts; either the coach doesn't care enough to invest the time necessary to find the cause of the problem, or the coach doesn't know enough about the game (or the player) to be able to give any better advice and he or she is too proud to admit it.  Either way, the player loses.

The scenario playing out above is obviously analogous to many, many events and seasons in all of our lives and the effect is easy to see; but what about the cause?  Is "toughing it out" really going to address the reason for the struggle?  How do we respond in a way that addresses the cause?

Sticking with the sports theme, I'll quote the great Vince Lombardi - "Practice does not make perfect. Only perfect practice makes perfect."  In other words; don't just keep working hard, doing what you're doing, because there may be something wrong with the way you're doing it.  First, you've got to make sure you're doing it right.

There are different ways to approach this process, depending on your context. One way is to dissect the effect (the problem); pealing it back, layer by layer, until the cause is revealed, then address the cause and determine how to prevent it from happening again.  This in a nutshell describes the science of 'root-cause analysis', which is a very effective tool in the business world.  However, on a more personal level, or in a more urgent context, the process of root-cause analysis is often too time-consuming to be of any practical value.

Another more efficient approach to resolving a problem is the one that every GOOD coach knows and teaches: stop what you're doing, get back to focusing on the basics, then move forward.  In applying this simple response, the cause will be self-identified, the resolution to the problem will become clear, and the basic foundation for everything from that point on will be strengthened.

This truth extends into all areas of our lives; personal, career, relationships, finances, you name it.  There is nothing in our lives that cannot be improved by the careful turning of our attention to the most basic principles and practices that support us and that guide our every action and decision.

C.S. Lewis said - "We all want progress, but if you're on the wrong road, progress means doing an about-turn and walking back to the right road; in that case, the man who turns back soonest is the most progressive."

Do you think ol' Clive and Vince knew each other?  Probably not (opposite sides of The Pond you know), but they both said essentially the same thing, because they were both essentially wise men.  Both of them knew, accepted and understood that the quintessential source of wisdom is the Bible, and they applied it actively and intentionally to their lives and careers.  Were they perfect specimens of wisdom?  Absolutely not, they were flawed men; sinners who made mistakes like the rest of us.  However, history has ascribed greatness to these men, and with good reason.

But what about the rest of us mere mortals?  What about those oh-so-many times when we ask ourselves, "Why does this keep happening to me?"  If you've read this far, you know what's coming next, that's right: Get back to basics.  But how?  What does that look like?

If you already know God and accept the Bible as the basis and source of all wisdom, then you know that the answer is in there.  But don't stop reading now; I'll get to you in a minute.

If you have not accepted the Bible, or you have not decided to trust God, then you're on your own, free to keep trying it your own way; just don't be surprised when your situation doesn't improve and "Why does this keep happening to me?" becomes your life slogan.  However, even if you have not accepted either God or the Bible, the answer is still in there, free for the taking; all you have to do is be willing to look for it.

Have you had enough of doing it your way?  Are you tired of asking "Why does this keep happening to me?"  What have you got to lose?  Let's get started!

For devout Christians and doubters alike, the process is the same: getting back to basics starts with opening the Bible and reading it as a matter of daily, personal discipline.  If you are new to the Bible, it is a good idea to start with the New Testament.  If you don't have access to a Bible, go to www.Bible.com, there you can read and explore God's Word in whatever language or translation you prefer.  You can also download the YouVersionBible App to your smartphone or tablet and take it with you anywhere!

So, now that you've got a Bible in front of you, what next?  Pray. Pray before you read, ask the Author of Life to reveal to you what He wants to say to you at this time, then shut-up and listen for Him to speak to you through what you read.  Now, I'm not suggesting that you will hear an audible voice, but when God speaks to you through His written Word, you will know it in your heart as clearly as if you had heard it with your ears!

Next, continue through your day in an attitude of prayer, discussing with God what you have read.  This does NOT mean that you have to be on your knees or have your eyes closed all day (try explaining that to your boss or the cop that just pulled you over!); it simply means carrying on a private, personal conversation with God as you go about your normal routine.  Talk with God as if you are talking with a friend, but remember to do more listening than talking.

Finally, apply what you learn.  Intentionally submit your will to that of your Creator and find peace in what He says and does, because it is going to be amazing!

If you are new to the Bible, these will be the first steps in laying the foundation for the rest of your life.  However, if you have been a Christian for a while, or maybe you were raised in a Christian home and have wandered off the path, then this means breaking down the walls and preconceptions you have built and clearing away the debris; your spiritual foundation is still there, you just need to uncover it and sweep it clean.

Whether you are laying a new foundation, or cleaning up an old one; if you are reading this, you are at a very remarkable place in your life and facing a truly life-changing opportunity; the opportunity to start building a new life with Christ as the Cornerstone, so what are you waiting for?

"All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right. God uses it to prepare and equip his people to do every good work." 2 Timothy 3:16-17 (NLT)

PDS
Edmond, OK
13-JUN-2013

WHY?!

I recently heard someone say that, when we have trouble in our lives, it's because we aren't walking right with God.

Now, while this may SOMETIMES be true, it just as often is not; and we in the Church need to understand, proclaim and protect this distinction, without equivocation or apology; we need to exercise a true compassion, lovingly share in their burden (1 Cor 12:26) and quit repeating the sin of Job's "friends" by using other people's suffering as an excuse for judging their faith and walk.

I am reminded of John 9:1-3, As he [Jesus] went along, he saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?”  “Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life."

This gets me thinking about some things, one of which is the "WHY?!" we all experience when, as believers, we (or someone we love) suffer some manner of harm, hurt, loss or tragedy. We want to know, sometimes even demanding from God, "WHY?!" He would allow such things when we, as faulty as we are, try so hard to be faithful and live right?

While we may not receive the answer we so desperately seek (at least in this lifetime), I have observed over the years, a recurring theme, that illustrates the very real and practical truth of what Jesus told his disciples.

I'll explain by way of example.

Back in the eighties, someone very close to me was raped. She wrestled and agonized with the "WHY?!" for years. One day, when she was crying out "WHY?!", someone who loves her told her that she was allowed to experience this awful, horrible violation, so that she would be able to minister to others who have experienced similar pain, in a way that only someone who has known that pain ever could. She listened, but was only nominally comforted by this.

Some months later, after counseling with her pastor, she was blessed with the miraculous ability to truly forgive her attackers and from there, she began to grow rapidly in her faith, with a heart more peaceful than she could have imagined.

A couple years later, she was attending a fund-raising event for a local crisis pregnancy center, when she was struck powerfully with the calling that she belonged in that ministry. She began first as a volunteer peer-counselor, where she was able to openly share about her experience, comforting hurting women and girls; sharing the Word of our Lord freely and experiencing the joy of having some of them come back months later, bringing their new babies to share with her!

The healing she experienced in this ministry was beyond words and surpassed in significance only by the lives changed through it.

After some time, she was asked to take the lead in developing, coordinating and presenting a new Abstinence Education program for the center, to take into the local schools, churches and community youth programs.  She was NEVER a person that could speak in so much as a room full of friends without getting nervous, but God empowered and nurtured her abilities to become an effective and passionate speaker, presenting her testimony to groups both large (hundreds) and small.

(On a side note: she learned through her counseling that one of the first places we NEED abstinence education is in our churches. An alarming number of the teenagers that came to the center were from active Christian homes and were active in their church's youth programs. Some were even pastor's kids. But, many of the churches blindly, pridefully rejected the program as "unnecessary". Anyway...back to the story.)

Word of her powerful, presentation spread rapidly and soon she was invited to speak all over Southern California, at community (troubled) youth programs, Native American/Tribal youth programs and even some public high schools and "continuation" high schools for the violent and legally troubled students (an amazing and providential feat, in the fiercely liberal and anti-Christian public school systems of California).

Some of these places and groups were so rough that she was provided armed security during her visits!  Yet, even from the toughest, gang-infested audiences, she would often have girls (and sometimes even guys) come to her afterward and share horrific, heart-wrenching stories, tearfully exclaiming their longing to regain their "purity" and get right with God.

You see, God had built a powerful and effective ministry out of that pain; A modern-day repetition of "What man has intended for evil, God has used for good" (Genesis 50:20, PerryPhrased).

So, while God does indeed use painful, even tragic events to rattle our cage and get us back on track when we stray, it does not always mean that pain or difficulty in our lives is the result of our personal sin or faithlessness.

Sometimes, when it just doesn't make any sense, the best thing we can do is to trust Romans 8:28 more than we trust our own understanding: "And we know that in ALL THINGS God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." (NIV, emphasis mine)

 

I hope and pray that this story helps and encourages someone today.

Blessings!

Perry